Hello there. If you are reading this, first of all thank you very much. I don’t know if you’ve been reading my blog or just stumbled on it, but I appreciate any time spent on my work. You might be wondering why I stopped posting, or why there is such a big gap in my work. I’m here to explain that finally.
My life has been very busy since my last post in March. I’ve graduated, gotten a job that I love in my field of study, bought a new car, made some awesome new friends, and naturally experienced some loss. The universe is one of “equivalent exchange” to borrow a phrase so it’s only natural that to gain so much I had to have some stuff go wrong. But life goes on and we take deep breaths and we move along.
Back in March I had an incident with a friend that destroyed my motivation for writing, and almost for D&D in general. It happened to be one of my players too, which is what made it so personal. I always intended to come back to this blog, but as graduation loomed it just got away from me.
That same friend and I have now parted ways, and though it hurt me deeply in the end I think it was for the best. It was a toxic friendship that impacted me greatly and a lot of it I didn’t realize until I was out of it. I played my part in things too and I could have acted better myself but what’s done is done.
The issue with this is two-fold. For one, the group is at best at a standstill and at worst it’s completely over. I mourn the game more than anything, not for myself but for other players and the work they put into their characters and stories. I hope that one day we can pick up at least parts of what we left but if it never happens then so be it. I spent so much time writing about what I learned from DMing my sessions though that it leaves me with a lack of material for the moment.
Additionally, this situation hasn’t fully destroyed my motivation for the game but it has dampened my joy for a bit. I can still hold a conversation about the game, purchase the dice and wear my shirt proudly, but I often have to be prompted from an outside source. I don’t spend so many hours pouring over characters and plotlines the way I used to. I know this won’t always be the case, I know things will return eventually. But it’s hard to write about something that you have no creativity or passion for in the moment.
And so with this I have decided to put this blog to rest. I won’t be deleting it, in hopes that I return one day. I can’t justify the price of keeping the domain however, so soon it will change from deviousmonsterdnd.com to deviousmonsterdnd.wordpress.com. I hope that maybe in the interim someone might come across this blog and gain some knowledge about the game, but if nothing else I at least have a product I worked hard on for a while to show off.
Again, if you followed these adventures at all, thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much it means to have eyes on a project of mine that I care so much about. Maybe one day, when my life is more stable, my heart has healed and my passion has fully returned I will come back. But until then I will keep continuing on as best I can.